2 Threads

I thought I would post, since it sure beats organizing my desk. The overwhelming thought I've had the last few days, besides the rage and exasperation from losing Dusty, is that somehow I've moved from dangling by one thread these last 8 months to now, maybe hanging from two (or one that is slightly thicker than before). I still cringe... and cry... and scream "no." I still break down and overreact to little things. I still visit his grave and find myself running my hands over his marker and on the dirt around it, crying, or talking to him, or just being sad. I still avoid sleeping at night, and drag in exhausted every day. I still feel better when I'm in Jasper, when I sleep in his room. I still cry every time I go to church (which is about once every 2 months, truthfully). But here I am, still in Tuscaloosa. And somehow, I feel the tiniest bit stronger than last week. But no less horrified. I will always miss him.